photo credit: Xhanatos

“All of us who are worth anything, spend our manhood in unlearning the follies, or expiating the mistakes of our youth.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley

Its the 1940’s and our man, now just a small boy, is growing up in a middle class family with a bunch of brothers and sisters. Mom stays at home while dad goes to work. He brings home a very good income. Our man, still a small boy, is smart, athletic and showing a lot of potential. Everything is going swimmingly. As he grows up he plays sports, studies hard and looks after his siblings. Around age 14 his mother gets sick. A year later she is dead. Everything begins to fall to pieces.

A new mother
Within the year his father had remarried and this woman brings along two children of her own. She hated our man (now 15) and his brothers and sisters. She wants their father all to themselves. She does whatever she can to make their lives miserable; manipulated them against each other and against their dad. The father is too busy to notice that anything was wrong, he is absorbed in his own misery, too focused on diluting the grief with work. The things she did to our man would, these days, be classified as physical and emotional abuse.

At age 16 our man sits his final school exams having been skipped ahead a year due to his exceptional mind. He heads home happy in the knowledge that he will get a place at University in any course that he wants. He has done well. He can’t wait to see how proud his father will be. His wished his mother was there to see. As he walks up the darkened street towards home, bathed in moon and street light, he can see two box-like figures on his porch. What are they? As he gets closer he realizes they are suitcases. On top of the first one is a note from his step mother, “I have packed your things. Time to move out. Don’t bother coming inside“.

Un-Coping
This stage of his life is called un-coping. In reality, it probably extends well beyond the initial grief and lasts until the day he dies. He never really gets over the loss of his mother. He wasn’t taught how. There were no goodbyes, no post-death counseling sessions and very little support from his father. It was the 1950’s and 60’s and no one talked about emotions, feelings or how to deal with a loss. You just got on with it.

So that’s what he did. He got on with it. He got on with drinking alcohol and gambling. He got on with meeting lots of women. But none of them dulled the pain forever and none of the girls replaced his mother. They didn’t even come close. Our man, now in his twenties, fell into line and joined the family business despite having dreams and aspirations and the ability to do other things. He did what his father told him to do, even when it wasn’t in his best interests. He never really learned how to be his own man. He was still un-coping with his tumultuous childhood. Perhaps by joining the family business he would win the attention of his dad.

Replicating the disaster
This stage of his life is called replicating the disaster. We might call it “having a family”. Having met a beautiful woman he decides to propose as soon as he can. She accepts the proposal, seduced and infatuated with his charm, wit and tendency towards popularity and success. Completely unaware that his drinking and gambling were becoming an issue, they have two children, one after the other and settle down in the suburbs.

Barely a week goes by where our man doesn’t fight with his wife. Occasionally they fight in front of the children. If they manage to conceal the arguments, the kids would notice the upset mother and the absence of the father. He was at the pub putting money into machines or on horses. Everyone knows it. Soon work colleagues and family friends know it. Our man has developed a reputation around town as a drunk, a gambler and a womanizer. His wife is, of course, the last to find out.

Quite unconsciously our man pushes his loved ones away. He would ignore them when he had free time and make himself busy when he could. His arrival home from work would be characterized by the shutting of doors, children heading to their rooms to bury themselves in books and video games, finding any way to escape his foul breath and poisonous attitudes towards immigrants on the news, stories of his work mates and clients and, above all, women. At an early age his children learned that he was no role model. It was a lesson they never un-learned.

Alone again
This stage of his life is called alone again. If we are really honest, however, we might call it “still alone” because it was not like he ever really connected. But, the wife and family get tired of the gambling and the drinking and they pack up and leave. Our man, now in his 50’s, moves back in with his father as the gambling had made renting a place too financially difficult, despite a $100k a year income.

Occasionally his kids stop by to see him, mostly to assuage their own guilt. These visits got less frequent however as the constant complaining and blaming of others grows too suffocating. Our man has, for all of his life, blamed others for his faults. Every weekend at the races was the fault of an inattentive wife. Every night at the pub was the fault of a slow-to-pay client. Every mistake was that of someone else.

How does it end?
And though our story ends, our man lives on. Alone. He has girlfriends, quite a few, actually. But they don’t stick around. Today’s women are too intelligent and independent for that. His children still visit him, three or four times a year. Normally they see a movie so they don’t have to talk to him. The darkness of the cinema works well for our man too, he doesn’t have to look at how grown up his children are, how much he has missed out on.

I can’t help but wonder how it will end. Will our man ever beat his demons? Is he ever going to be able to look in the mirror and recognize his faults? How long can a person hold a grudge against their mother and father? How long can he blame them? Most of all I wonder how our man can continue to engage in the very activities and habits that have caused him ruin. A life of great potential, blamed away, day by day.

That is my story, about a man.

photo credit: mihow bitata

“To To fill the hour — that is happiness.” – Emerson, Ralph Waldo

In these modern times it is easier than ever to be happy. Technology, media, politics and family life all make it extremely simple to get that happiness that we all seek. In this post I am going to show you the modern guide to finding happiness. I hope that it will finally answer all of your long-held questions and concerns about how to get there.

1. Work as much as you can
We know that our life is finite and we know that we hate our jobs. So we should always attempt to work as much as we can. It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to get a promotion, more money or just drown out the other issues in your life, working lots is the answer. It is especially true if this means we spend less quality time with the family, friends and enjoyable pastimes. Being busy all of the time is a surefire way to get to know yourself and make the people around you full of joy.

2. Drink, every night if possible
When your friends ask you to go out for drink after work you should definitely do it. Alcohol makes people happy and serves as a wonderful way to forget about the troubles that you are experiencing. In the modern world of stress and depression, booze can help you numb the pain that you are just too busy to address. Surely you will have time to deal with that later once things smooth out in the office or at home?

3. Spend big, every weekend
Have you been to a shopping mall lately? The things you can buy are amazing. We have wide screen TVs, blu-ray players, home gyms, gaming consoles, designer clothes, luxury cars, watches, sneakers… it is enough to make anyone happy! Take the money you earned during the week doing the job that you hate and medicate yourself with shopping. Each individual item will make you happy. The more expensive the item and the longer you think about having it the more likely it is that the happiness will last. This is a fact.

4. Sleep with beautiful people
Head out to a nightclub on a Saturday night and you will see more beautiful women than you know what to do with. And in the age of the metro sexual male, women now can choose from a vast array of gorgeous men with chiseled abs and moisturized faces. Everywhere you look you are being told to have sex with each other. The media, Hollywood, magazine advertisements, your friends… all of them are telling you to get out there and live out your fantasies and desires because it is only then that you will feel happy. The bigger the bust the happier you will be. And you know what, you might not ever be happy until you have tried them.

5. Use your technology at every moment
Now that we all have iPhones, computers, laptops, GPS in our cars, games on our TVs, etc. it is important to never go a moment without engaging one of them. When you are waiting in line to see a movie make sure you check your email on your iPhone while listening to your iPod.

photo credit: FaceMePLS

If your senses are engaged all the time you will never feel depressed, especially when you finally need to turn them all off to sleep. Technology is really making happiness a whole lot easier.

6. Model your life after musicians, celebrities and other rich people
The closer you look the more you will realize that musicians, celebrities and rich people are happy. Truly happy. These guys have it together. Whether they are off sun baking in the Bahamas, making hip hop videos with beautiful women around them or closing a multinational business account, these guys know what makes them happy. They rarely experience problems because they have famous friends and nice things to hide behind. If only we had as much as them, we would be as happy as they are.

What have I forgot

Is there anything else I have forgotten to include in the modern guide for finding happiness? Is there anything else in this day and age that will really make you happy. Please leave a comment and let us know.

photo credit: adeltoclarencedock

Daily life is tough. Really tough. Sometimes our emotions run so wild that we think we are going to give up. Other times our body is so tired we feel like we need to just collapse right there at work. Modern life seems to be about work, money, stress, depression and not enough sleep. But there is something that can help. There is a simple way to combat stress, create more energy and build a better life. If you feel like you need some extra help dealing with all that is thrown your way then maybe this 5×5 meditation plan is for you.

Why meditation can solve our problems

Before I actually get into the 5×5 plan I want to talk a little bit about why meditation can help to solve our problems. Many of you are probably thinking that meditation is just for hippies who want to sit around all day and do nothing. But that idea couldn’t be further from the truth. Mediation is an ancient art that has been helping people for thousands of years. It is completely supported by science as a means of changing our emotions, habits and even brain structure.

So how can meditation solve our problems? Well as many of you know, the Tibetan word for meditation is gom which can be translated literally as “to familiarize“. Meditation is really about becoming familiar with your mind and making your mind familiar to more favorable states. For example, if your spouse does something to annoy you over and over you will immediately get angry. If they do it again a few weeks later you will get angry again. Your mind has become familiar with anger. But if you use meditation you familiarize yourself with a different state of mind, you might automatically react with patience or understanding and thus avoid the anxiety associated with the anger.

Meditation is also extremely healthy. It causes your brain to release many feel good hormones like cortisol which can actually alleviate depression and other negative frames of mind. So while you are training yourself to become more happy, your brain and body are actually helping you do that on a more physiological level. Some of the other major benefits that you will experience when meditating include:

• becoming less tired
• having more energy
• being happy for no tangible reason
• stress anxiety becomes less and less vicious
• depression arises less often
• an increased level of awareness
• an increased ability to help others
• better ability to deal with difficult circumstances
• an increased immune system and resistance to disease
• a better functioning brain and mind
• increase health (heart, lungs, digestive system, etc.)
• etc

Regular readers will know that I spend a lot of time in the Himalayas with my yogi friends. At one time or another I have seen examples of all of these benefits with my own eyes. Meditation practitioners have an aura of natural happiness, health and energy. Being around them is often infectiously peaceful and can be a very intense learning experience. I have no doubt in my mind that this stuff produces concrete results in a short amount of time.

The 5×5 meditation plan for a better life

photo credit: Stuart Conner

So what is this 5×5 meditation plan? How does it work? It is quite simple really. All you have to do is spend five minutes meditating five times a day. But before you close the window thinking “there is no way I am going to do that” let me explain a little bit about what I mean by “meditating”.

What kind of meditation do you mean?
Most people think that meditation means sitting down with your legs crossed and your hands in a weird gesture. And while that style of meditation is fantastic, it is not really what we are talking about here. The 5×5 plan does not require you to buy a new meditation cushion and sit down for five minutes five times a day. All it is asking is that you stop what you are doing, sit there and look at your mind. You could be on the toilet, sitting in the car about to leave for work, about to go to bed at night, etc. All you have to do is sit there and look directly at your mind for five minutes.

Why five times a day?
As beginners, we need to do short bursts more often. It is only the experts that can sit there for hours at a time doing their practice. It is the same of any discipline. If we were just starting with the guitar we would be better of practicing for short bursts so we don’t cut our fingers or get bored and chuck it in. If we were just starting with jogging or running we need to build up over time so we don’t drop dead of a heart attack! The same is true of meditation. Short bursts of five minutes done five times a day will cause us to make progress extremely quickly without feeling like we are doing a lot of work. In just a few sessions you will feel happier and less stressed.

What exactly do I do?
It is simple. Find a place to sit down. A chair is fine. Now focus on your breath going in and out of your nose for as long as it takes to get settled. It might take you two or three breaths or it might take a lot more. Once you have done that just gently shift your attention to your mind. Watch the thoughts coming and going and dissolving into nothing. Watch your emotions come and go. Don’t engage them. Don’t allow yourself to run away with your thoughts. Don’t play little mental games or carry out mental stories and chatter. Just watch. Observe. Don’t try to change anything. And after five minutes stop.

The routine
Let’s be honest. If you don’t have a routine you are never going to do it. So pick five times a day that will allow you to sit down and do this practice. I think the best times might be:

• before starting work
• after eating your morning tea
• before or after lunch
• after eating your afternoon tea
• before bed

If you try to associate your meals or an event like beginning work with a short meditation practice you will be less likely to forget as it will become part of your daily routine. After just a few sessions you will see some changes in your mind.

Obstacles
Anyone who has done a bit of meditation will tell you that you need to become good friends with obstacles. Meditation is fraught with them. Quite often as you start to become familiar with your mind you will notice a lot of negative emotions and chatter that you didn’t notice before. Many people make the mistake of thinking that meditation is making their mind worse. In actual fact, you are just becoming aware of things that you were too busy to notice before. Just watch them. Don’t let them fool you into playing with them. If you just observe they will vanish of their own accord.

Conclusion

Meditation has changed my life and the lives of many others. Over time it will help you to reduce stress and anxiety as well as teaching you to deal with emotions and difficult times with more strength, resilience and patience. Give it a go but make sure you give it the time it needs. Persevere and don’t give up at the first obstacle that you encounter. Much like breaking the pain barrier when you run, it becomes a lot easier after the first spell.

Please let us know if you have tried meditation and whether or not it has helped you. And if you decide to try the 5×5 meditation plan please stop back often and let us know how your progress is going. Your example might really inspire someone else to give it a go.

photo credit: laurenfarmer

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. – Tenneva Jordan

If you scoured the entire Earth looking for someone who has shown more kindness to you than your own mother you would be gone a long time. Such a person does not exist. Your mother cared for you while you were in her stomach, gave birth to you, fed and raised you to become the person you are today. No body comes even close to her in terms of love and compassion. And over the years she has taught us many things, some helpful, some not so helpful. Here are a few life lessons that your mom was right about.

1. It could be worse
Of all the things your mom said to you as a kid this is one of the most valuable. Hidden inside these four words is a wealth of wisdom that has been somewhat obscured due to the popular nature of the saying. In fact, when your mom said this to you it was often at a time when you felt pretty terrible. And so you ignored her. I’ll never forget when my little brother broke his arm my mom calmly announced that “it could be worse” and to basically get it together. She was right. It could have been worse.

The reason this saying is so important is because it teaches two things that are essential to your life, calmness and compassion. When you think about how much worse your bad situation could be you realize that there is no point getting all worked up. But you also start to think about those other people out there in that “worse” predicament and feel sorry for them. It is a very powerful tool.

2. The proof will be in the pudding
As if on a timer, my mom would say “the proof will be in the pudding” every year about three weeks before school report cards went out. It was around this time that she started to get nervous that my brother and I had been playing too much soccer and not doing enough homework. So she would subtly let us know that even though we said we were working hard, the real proof would be the grades on that card. And for some reason it scared the hell out of me!

There are a lot of people in this world who are good at talking. They are good at spinning a few words together and getting out of a predicament. In a similar way, there are a lot of people who are good at making excuses. But the proof will be in the pudding. You can convince yourself and those around you that you are working hard towards your goals or a project but unless that hard work bears fruit then you might be kidding yourself. The proof really will be in the final product.

3. I don’t care who started it, you stop it
Do you remember those times back at home when you and your brother or sister were pulling each others hair out over some stupid little argument? Do you remember how cheated you felt when mom trounced in the room and told you to stop it even though you didn’t start it? It was the worst feeling in the world. It felt like everyone was against you and that the world was completely unfair. Well, in actual fact, your mom was teaching you an extremely valuable life lesson about self control and self responsibility.

photo credit: ASingleAtom

What your mom was really saying in this situation is that she wants you to take responsibility for being the bigger person and diffuse the situation. When you put it like that you might start to see some more adult-life scenarios where it would be useful. Perhaps an argument that you are having with your father or even with your siblings again? Perhaps a colleague at work has started a fight or maybe one of your mates did something silly? Even though you might be in the right it is often extremely wise to put your pride aside and diffuse the situation.

Imagine the effect this wisdom would have on a global scale if it was put into practice by world leaders and politicians. I am not saying that everyone should just admit defeat all the time, but rather that it could be useful to put grudges aside and be the person or nation who takes steps to solving the problem instead of arguing about it.

4. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all
What a simple but powerful lesson. Imagine how many disputes around the world would be avoided if people just remembered their mothers advice. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. This saying has applications for marriages, politics, business and friendships. And it has a lot more to it than it seems.

As a kid this saying probably just meant that you shouldn’t call your little brother a dickhead. But as you grow up and get a little bit more life experience you can start to add new meanings to it. For example, saying “something nice” might not just mean a compliment but rather something that is going to add to the situation and help the people that you are speaking with. Like the Buddha said, “do not speak unless it improves on silence“. So from this point of view the saying is a lesson in helping other as well as being mindful of what one is saying.

In the business and political worlds this saying is perhaps one of the most important rules there is when dealing with other people. You never say anything bad about a business partner or a competitor because it will inevitably come back to harm your reputation. The consequences in the political world are even worse. Gossip and harsh speech can have implications for careers, national progress and even international relations. Your mom was right about this one. Unless you have something helpful, intelligent and proactive to say, don’t say anything.

5. If you don’t do it now, then when are you going to do it?
If you are a regular reader of The Daily Mind (good on you!) then you will know that I am always talking about procrastination. So much of our lives is wasted because we hate the idea of now and we love the idea of tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes and we still haven’t accomplished anything we feel regret, depression and ever so unfulfilled.

One of the sad truths about life is that you can lose it at any time. Death is certain to come but the time of its arrival is most uncertain. So you might not even have a tomorrow in order to accomplish your task. Really, if you look closely at the matter, now is all you have. Now is all you have. If you don’t do it now, when are you going to do it? What if that opportunity never comes or if you run out of time because you are too busy. Will you be filled with regrets on your deathbed?

Again, we can add a little bit more grown up meaning to a saying that your mom probably said a thousand times. Of all the lessons she taught you this is one that really needs to hit home. She is right about this one. If you don’t do it now then when are you going to do it? My guess is never.

What lessons was your mom right about?

Every mom has a myriad of different lessons for their children. It would be wonderful if you could try to remember a few and leave a comment. It would be even more fantastic if you could try to think of some examples in your adult life of when the motherly wisdom helped you out.

photo credit: Brian Vallelunga

“May the pain of every living creature be completely cleared away. May I be the doctor and the medicine and may I be the nurse for all sick beings in the world until everyone is healed.” – Shantideva

According to the Buddha there are four inevitable stages in our life: birth, old age, death and sickness. We will all get an illness at some point in our lives. Some will only suffer a bad flu whilst others will have to stand face to face with a serious disease like cancer or HIV. A few years ago my closest high school buddy got diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer and during that painful and testing time I went to the ancient texts of India and Tibet for some sort of philosophical help about dealing with an illness. Since that time we have also talked a lot about the illness and a lot about what got him through it. Today I would like to share some of those techniques with you and your family members.

With a few minor adjustments you can turn the experience of being sick into something positive where you grow into a braver and stronger person. Illness is one of the only times in life where you get to truly discover your potential. Without this attitude the whole debacle is just a waste of time.

BE INTERACTIVE – If you have any other methods that I have not mentioned please leave a comment as it might really help someone. Similarly, if you or someone you love is sick and you need a friend to talk to I will always answer your comments. We also have a lot of caring, knowledgeable and loving readers who will do the same.

How to cope with a serious illness or disease

photo credit: [expletive deleted]

Although I myself have never been seriously ill, it seems as though a lot of the people around me have. I hope that some of these techniques benefit any sick people out there, either directly by reading it or by a loved one passing it on. Most of the techniques I discuss in this article come from a Eastern Philosophical background and as such they might contain some foreign concepts. That’s okay. Sometimes you need something a little different to get you through.

1. Accept that you are now sick
Quite often the first thing you notice about someone who has a serious disease is how they go about their life as if nothing is going wrong. It is obviously a coping mechanism, but it can often lead to some very painful times as the truth begins to set in as symptoms and pain begin to get worse. If you have just been given some bad news from your doctor it is important to accept it right away. This does not mean getting all glum and depressed, it just means that you are in touch with reality. If you do not accept the truth you will not be able to develop any further coping mechanisms, and that is why I have put this as the first point.

2. Know that you are not alone
When you get told that you are sick it is easy to feel all alone. Especially at night time. When I had a few months of serious depression in my early 20’s I always noticed that night time was the worst. And others have said the same. Everything is quiet, dark and you feel like the only one awake. But you aren’t. At any one point in time there are thousands of people around the world who know exactly how you feel. And although you might never meet them in this life, there is some sense of strength that comes from realizing that they are out there.

On a more intimate level it is important to realize that your friends and family will be there for you whenever you need. It doesn’t matter what time, day or night, if you need them there by your side do not be afraid to call them or shoot off an sms. They will be glad that you did. They will not feel inconvenienced. They will actually be delighted that they can help in some small way, finally vanquishing that terrible feeling of helplessness.

On a more superficial level you should know that The Daily Mind will always be here. I will always answer comments. It might take me a few hours to see it but I always get them in the end and I will do my absolute best to help you though whatever situation you are in. Please note that I am not a psychologist or a counseling professional, just a boring old philosophy nut who has had some life experience. So there you have it, you are not alone.

3. Develop some gratitude by using compassion
Let me be very clear with you. The strongest and most powerful positive emotion that a human can feel is compassion. The wish for another human being to be free from suffering. It is why our mothers took such good care of us and it is why strangers in the street will risk their lives to help a person in a mugging or a fire. Compassion is going to be your greatest tool in this time of illness. Why? Because it is going to teach you that things could be worse. And developing some gratitude will help to calm your mind and allow more room for positive change.

photo credit: Board Shanty

Let’s think up an example. Say you have just been diagnosed with cancer. You are scared, stressed and perhaps a little bit angry. You start focusing in on the sense of self so tightly that no body else matters. But this makes things worse. Everything anyone says to you is like sandpaper grating on your skin. You become more sensitive and less able to deal with bad news or pain. But shift your focus for a second. Think about all the others out there who have it worse than you.

Even if you are dying of cancer you can still be grateful that you have your family by your side or pain managing medication. A lot of people don’t. Think about the other people out there in worse scenarios than you and feel thankful that this is all you have to deal with. It will give you a lot of energy.

4. Use an ancient meditation technique to forget about your own self concern
All of the Buddhist texts agree on one thing when it comes to sickness: you must engage in the meditation practice called Tonglen. Tonglen is Tibetan for “giving and taking” and is an ancient Buddhist practice that originated with the Indian Buddhist Master called Atisha Dipankara Shrijnana, born in 982 CE. The meditation is easy to do and bears results after only a few sessions. His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said that he does Tonglen every day. So how do you do it?

Find a comfortable seat and sit in the correct meditation posture if you have the energy. Now shift your attention to your breath; the breath is the “vehicle” on which this meditation is based. Now do the following on each breath:

• Inhale
  Imagine all the suffering and illness of all other sentient beings is coming into you in the form of black smoke. It completely takes away everyone’s pain, agony and disease and is destroyed in your lungs. Focus on the intense feeling of compassion, the idea that you are willing to take on other people’s suffering.
• Exhale
  Imagine your exhalation is white light that sends out all your happiness, health and peace of mind to all the sick and dying people around the world. Imagine that that are actually sustained by this exhalation and immediately feel better and more content. Focus on the feelings of love, the idea that you are willing to give all your happiness and health to help your fellow human being.

The first question that new meditation students inevitably ask is, “Will taking on other people’s suffering make me sicker?” The answer is always a definite “NO“. In fact, many yogis in Tibet often found that this practice gave them a new lease on life; more energy and often times helped them overcome some illnesses. There is no correlation between meditation and getting sicker, only the opposite is true. The goal of Tonglen is to shift your focus away from your own self importance and teach you to value others more. Dealing with pain becomes quite easy when you are an expert at this meditation (or so I am told).

photo credit: C-Ali

5. Become acquainted with the Buddhist concept of purification
There are many prayers in Tibetan Buddhism that say that “sickness is good, health is bad“. At first this seems like absolute nonsense but then you read on and it continues that “sickness helps me purify my negative ways, happiness just makes me lazy“. All of a sudden we see that initial comment in the context of mind training and now you have quite a powerful new teaching.

Being a good person is easy when the belly is full. Thinking about love and patience is easy when you are having a wonderful day. But the real test of character comes when you are sick and suffering. How loving are you then? How much patience do you now have? Not a lot. But illness and disease presents us with a unique opportunity to purify our old ways and develop a new way of thinking. It is a situation of great hope and possibility.

Buddhists actually believe that sickness is good because it is purifying bad karma that might have otherwise ripened in a much more serious situation. Imagine you spent five years smoking and got lung cancer. You beat that cancer, quit smoking and approach life with a new sense of vigor and awareness. If you didn’t get sick that would never have happened. In fact, you might have kept smoking and ended up with a much more serious case of cancer. The sickness purified that negative karma.

I am not asking you to accept this idea straight away. In fact, I don’t care if you never accept it. But when you are sick it is important to open your mind to new ideas. Make it pliable. Imagine that your current sickness if purifying your past karma so that you can move on as a brand new person without anything holding you back. Doesn’t that seem like a nice way to view the disease? Its helping you.

6. Find a role model to emulate
The last technique I want to talk about is one that is that of using a role model to give you strength. It is an extremely potent way to give yourself a renewed sense of purpose and power. And it is very easy to do.

When I am feeling sick and sorry for myself I imagine the great yogi Milarepa who endured so many hardships for the benefit of others. He did not let a little cold or flu stop him. He meditated alone in caves with no food or drink for months at a time, sustaining himself only on nettles. He was so determined to reach his goal that he continued working even when he was sick.

Find someone strong and empowering. It might be a religious figure like Jesus or Buddha or someone else that you admire. Think about them when you are feeling down and ask yourself what they might do if they were in your situation. Over time you will find that you take on their strength much like a child copies his mother or father when approaching a new situation.

Conclusion

Getting a serious illness or disease can be the most trying time of your life. But you have a choice. You have an opportunity to use this situation to become a better person, or you can let it depress you. My sincere advice is to start thinking about compassion as much as you can. Become friends with the illness and see it as a positive time in your life, your rare opportunity for growth.