Hi,

I stumbled upon your blog last month – i’ve been following it since then, and its a very helpful blog. The spacing of the posts is correct, the content is excellent – I’ve made this my homepage Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

–N

Really a good one.
One more thing which i would like to add is, Dont be alone at all. Try to have people around or music or books. Dont keep yourself idle, if you are idle, your mind will definitely keep thinking about the cause. Get involved in some activity or the other.
Try something new, something totally new and adventurous or do something which you procastinated all this while, i bet you will succeed in that and that will serve as a great source of fuel for you, it is a good medicine to.
Be nice with people when you are depressed, i know it is difficult, but give a shot, you will know the difference.
And remember one thing, EVERYTHING CHANGES

Again I agree with all the above because I have been there myself too. In fact my case was worse i.e. wanted to comitt suicide in effect. But you are right all of us one way or another in this life we have to face this transitional phase.

I know this sounds old-fashioned but I was in constant prayers and everyday meditating. This way both acts gave me a positive outlook in life feeling that there are things beyond my control and things in my control. Also, the family is quite important in all of this. My family knew I was troubled in my room and would check on me by providing me food, talking to me (even if banging outside the door) and constant support

In a few words– being patient with ourselves and knowing we can control our thoughts and deeds and leave the ones beyond our control to unknown forces or a supreme being.

N – thank you so much for your compliments. TDM as your homepage!! That is awesome!

Bala – you are right about being alone. Sometimes at night when you are alone it is the worst. I often wonder, though, do we become attached to having someone around us and therefore never deal with being alone?

SA – as always thank you for sharing your thoughts. I look forward to reading them whenever I write a post. Your comment reminded me of one of the things I wanted to say but forgot – it is okay to be depressed. It is part of life. Don’t always try to fight it.

Thanks guys!

TDM

Good points TDM. Speaking for myself in response to the comments, I can’t stand being around people when I’m feeling down. It’s just a distraction and distractions only keep my attention off the problem (and solution), dragging it on longer.

Out of your list, exercise is by far the greatest cure for all my emotional challenges. It can be hard to stay motivated sometimes, but it’s also hard to hate myself while running.

Brice – nothing like a good bit of exercise to beat the blues! Do you run or have something else you like to do?

TDM

…Be careful with the label “I have depression”…

I would clarify this one thusly. Recognizing that your depression is a disease is important because when you’re dealing with a disease, it is no longer about you. You don’t have to judge yourself for having some character flaw that makes you depressive — it’s not weakness or self-indulgence, it’s just a disease — like many people have, and learn to treat and overcome. And if you fear that it’s going to shorten your life, when you recognize that it’s a disease and not your own inclination, it’s easier to fight for your own life and health.

So I would say, labeling it as a disease is very important. Just make sure that you’re labeling the disease instead of yourself.

This comes back to seeing the depression as transient. As a disease, it’s passing, treatable and an external part of you. Don’t let yourself see it as a permanent self-label, character flaw or integral part of who you are. A crucial part of optimism is seeing positive things as permanent and owing to your own efforts and negative things as transient, flukes or just dumb luck.

Really well said Malika. You should do the posts for me!

Thanks!

TDM

Just leaving kudos for a great post! Found you via Leo’s blog. You succinctly and clearly state much of my own experience.

Thanks,
Jean

Well said. Depression is transient… I have started to visualize it as a cloud, in full knowledge that the sun will appear again.

I also agree that you have watch out for the label. I think sometimes I have allowed myself to really stay depressed because I thought it was natural because of the illness. But as soon as I stopped considering myself a depressed person, I stopped having the prolonged episodes. I now recognize it, acknowledge that it is there, and then do my best to find my way out of it, whether by expressing it creatively or analyzing it to see if it is something in my environment that needs to be changed.

Great post!

Great post, and it reminded me of a statement Eckhart Tolle makes in “A New Earth, Awakening Your Life’s Purpose.” He suggests that rather than saying, “I am unhappy,” one should instead say, “There is unhappiness in me.” This way, you are not saying that unhappy (or depressed) is who or what you are. It recognizes that the unhappiness or depression is merely a temporary condition that you need to address.

In some cases, a true chemical imbalance may require medication to help a person through their depression, but in so many cases, we have the power within us to overcome it without pills. Exercise, yoga, meditation, good diet, and supportive friends and family can all provide relief.

Jean – Thank you for stopping by from Leo’s blog and leaving a comment. Really appreciate it.

Kristi – I really like that visualization! Thank you!

BJ – As usual I love your comments… The temporary nature of depression is so important to recognize. Is that book worth reading?

TDM

A wonderful post that I am definitely going to take to heart. I do have problems with depression and by far my favorite thing is to go outside and walk in the sun. any problem seems better out there!

the point about negative reinforcement is an excellent one, I am going to take that into account with my phases of depression and anxiety. it’s easy to get into a negative cycle, and then to stop taking control, letting it get the better of you.

I’m currently giving up caffeine to help with my stress and anxiety, I didn’t realize it could help with depression as well – but personally I’ve found that coming down off it has made me a little more depressed, for obvious reasons! it’s best to take it slow…

Jennie – I am glad you are taking active steps to help your own situation. Good move giving up the caffeine. Check out our post on TEA HEALTH – you might want to replace the coffee with Green Tea. Even though green tea has caffeine it is shown to benefit people with depression.

Good luck! The Daily Mind will always be here for support and encouragement!

TDM

In answer to your question about the Tolle book – yes, I think it’s very worthwhile reading. Even if you don’t buy into the entire philosophy, I can almost guarantee that something in there will serve as a key to unlock a thought process that you might otherwise miss. It really provided me with new insights into how we think, feel, and act, as well as how we can positively influence those things.

Jennie – Replacing the coffee with green tea is very good advice; you might also consider white tea, or Rooibos, which has very high antioxidant levels and pretty much no caffeine.

BJ – I will check it out this week. Thanks. And thanks for all your great comments.

TDM

Very helpful post. Thank you. Something that has always helped me when I’m feeling blue is writing random lists of things I’m good at doing. The act of putting them to paper will often cheer me up, even if it’s just a little.

Karen – thanks for the comment and the list idea. I like it!

tDM

I appreciate many of your points here and agree with them. One challenge for me is I find walking or biking alone creates greater aloneness or loneliness as it gives me more time with my frustration and thoughts.

Previously, I was very much into working out at the gym, but as I had more time of depression, I had a greater reluctance to work out. I intuitively got your ’stale air / plastic’ gym concept in my recent reluctance to go back to the gym – it only seems good for healthy people. So of course a challenge is where to find some socializing outside – a little more challenging in the suburbs up North. But, understanding helps and I look forward to seeing other suggestions from you or other posters here.

Thank you so much for writing this article! I was feeling like crap, looking for something positive to read, to help lift me out of this state, and was actually surprised that ur strategies helped me feel better already! The part about depression being transient was the most eye opening…I have to have hope that it will pass, and it will. I agree with everything else, esp the contact, having my friends come over to my house and force me out really kept me alive. It’s funny how a kind act can have such an affect. The parts that I’m still struggling with is exercise and eating healthy. I’m a junk food fiend…eating things that taste really good and satisfying to me comforts me when I’m feeling depressed, it distracts me, and rewards me. Nobody says “omg I hate my life!! now where are those celery sticks??” And excercising is soooo hard to get into, esp when you’ve been a couch potatoe for most of your life. When I do excercise I end up feeling like a lard ass because of how out of shape I am. I really hope I can start treating my body better, but it’s sooo difficult! Depression is so hard to get out of, because the things that help it, like thinking positively, eating healthy and spending time with people, is the opposite of what you want to do lol.
thanks again

I just want to say thank you to everybody who left their comments on this page. I have been going through some hard times within myself for the past year and honestly, just knowing I am not alone with this feeling is enough. I too have learned that being around people, even if I have to force myself to get out of the house helps sooo much. Also praying about it and asking for support is something amazing. I was at the brink of suicide and have now found a way to handle my emotions..just knowing I am not alone and that it wont last was enough to keep me here and where I am to this day. Thanks guys:)

Hello,

I really enjoyed reading your article and everyone’s replies.

I am just coming out of my depression. Never experienced anything like this before, and I never want to go through this again. I can honestly say, it has been one of the worst experiences in my life.

Doctor gave me anti depressants, but I have refused to take them, as I wanted to get through this without relying on medication that carried many risks of nasty side effects etc. Was also told I’d feel even worse for the first two weeks, as the medication built up in my body. There was no way I was going to put myself through even worse torture for two more weeks. It’s been bad enough already.

Anyway, with the help of my family, and friends I am coming out of it.
Also keeping myself busy and not allowing myself to become bored, and as you mentioned also, spending time out in the sun has helped heaps.

Thanks for your article, it really does help.

So agree with every thing you say! Its soooo easy in our busy lives to forget about human contact and love, and we just try to guard our hearts with chains and metal plated doors, just have to enjoy life and not to step into that spiral of the D word!

First allow me to say thanks for the excellent article. Please accept me critique, however, regarding your perception of “bad depression”.

I was hospitalized last year while suffering from a major depressive episode. I became completely unable to feel even an inkling of joy or hope. There was literally nothing that could help. It was as though I was lying in a battlefield with a giant, agonizing, gaping wound in my chest and nothing short of death could help. I was planning my suicide.

“Even the unfortunate souls with the most severe cases of depression are happy sometimes. There are a few moments in the day when their depression fades and another emotion sweeps over them.”

I was one of the “unfortunate souls” and your statement is simply inaccurate. Even with AD’s I spent over six months in this Godforsaken state of mind before experiencing just one moment when my depression faded.

I still fight a daily battle, one where my depression is much less severe and one that can now benefit from your suggestions. I’m not sure what kind of depression you went through, but is sure wasn’t what I had.

- JR

You are so right about the careful use of ‘i have depression’. Too many people use it in passive conversation and this can naturally impact on the way you are feeling and can start to introduce a natural negative feeling within your thoughts.

Thanks for your suggestions and as you say it is key to make physical contact and keep thinking about the positive things in your life no matter how difficult it may seem!

Thanks for a great positive article

Very good post. I’m just “coming out” on the other side of a battle with depression. It was very difficult. One of the things that I really connected with in your post is the fact that depressive thoughts still come and go. Even though I can look back 10 weeks ago and define very clearly how much better I am doing now than I was then, I still feel depressed in fleeting moments from time to time. The big difference is that now, when those feelings come, I go pick up a book, listen to some music, call a friend or start making a list of things I need to do by tomorrow or the end of the week. But when I was truly in the deep stages of the depression and those thoughts and feelings creeped in, I fed them. I dwelt on the causes of my depression, tried to explain them away or worst of all, I would just SIT THERE, let my eyes well up with tears and let it possess me. The problem with labeling, as you implied, is that you tend to use it to feed your depression. When you don’t feel like being around other people or watching a funny movie, you start to tell yourself things like, “Well, it’s ok that you don’t want to be around other people. You’re depressed and that’s what depression does to people.” This is true, but you could just as easily tell yourself, “Hey, I don’t really feel like going out right now, but I might have a good time. I might make a new friend or make somebody laugh. Maybe I won’t have any fun at all, but how is that any different from what I am doing right now as I sit in my room and stare at the wall?”

I came acroos your post trying to find some tips or info about how to beat depression.I`ve been fighting it for years. If I had to look back and think when it started I would say after I finished highschool, not that before that was a bundle of joy but I was a happy child though I remembered I always felt inadequate and when I didnt feel that way there were always people around me that made me feel that way(grownups)So, I guess that had an effect on my self-esteem.
As i was saying,when I finished highschool I felt under so much pressure to keep on studying a career and making the right choice “because what you choose to study is what you`ll end up doing the rest of your life” it sounded so menacing almost like apocalyptic. I had to measure up to my parents expectations, I felt I wasnt able to make a career choice fearing that I would take a wrong decision and I succumbed to depression. I did some therapy for a year and it turned out to help me a little bit though I was not cured when I finished it .It`s a long road, It`s been 9 years of that and I`m still struggling with it. The problem is that it seemed to get worse because when you get older it looks like people and even yourself have higher expectations about where you should be in life and when you realize that your expectations dont match your reality it`s a bitter blow.
The worst part of all is that I dont feel in control of my destiny it`s like everything escapes my control.
When I`m depressed I use “relief thoughts” like thinking that I`m going to quit my job, catch a bus to a province and start my life there all over” or that I just want to get on a car and drive… just drive without ever thinking where to ( like runaways thelma and Louise)or I think that I will become a nun so that I can have plenty of time to think and reflect upon my life though this idea is usually discarded because I have a boyfriend whom I would have to stop seeing or sometimes I just think that this is what I have to go through and that something really good is in store for me in the future or sometimes I just know that the only control I have in my life is the knowledge that I can end it whenever I want, thoughts of suicide usually linger in my mind and the worst of it is that I think of it as a normal thing. Have you ever felt the need to escape when you are depressed? some days the only thing I want to do is sleep, I don`t sleep well at night because a dream starts me up and then I cannot get back to sleep and start thinking ways of solving my problems but they seem to have no solution and I feel frustrated and hopeless and those feelings start building up until I feel like I`m a balloon about to burst and that`s when I do something to relieve that tension ( I used to cut myself and then watch in the mirror how my blood trickle down my body)I had to stop doing that when I was operated on a cyst in my neck that I believe appeared due to the cutings and infections I did to myself.
you are surely thinking that instead of cutting myself I should have talked to someone about my feelings, but I`m not the kind of person that finds relief in being listened.
Have you ever been paralaysed ” literally” by fear that If you move you have to go on with your life and you don`t want to go on you just want to remain there, seated, without moving, trying to think what it would be like life for you in ten years from then and wishing time wouldn`t go by so you never have to leave that position in the bench, in the park, in your life…