There are no hard and fast gift-giving rules for someone you’re in a relationship with fairly recently. And yet…that innocent little gift can be a determining factor in the early demise or continuity of your “almost there but not quite yet” union.
If you really like the person and wish your new relationship to progress further, you should allow much thought to giving gifts, whether there’s an occasion to do so or not. Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s Day deserve a gift but so do “thinking of you” days and “I miss you” days.
Unlike choosing something for your mom or dad, nephews and nieces and best friend, picking the appropriate present for that new special someone can be awkward and tricky. How do make him feel he’s more than a friend without putting the pressure on? On the other hand, how do you keep him at arm’s length because you’re not ready to commit that deeply just yet but you’d like the relationship to go on?
Gifts, even the innocuous ones, give a message to the recipient. They might be misconstrued as on the extreme ends of the relationship continuum – you don’t care enough or you’re already too attached. Well, that’s something over which you have no complete control. You’ll just have to look for something to give your new beau or belle a gift which, as Goldilocks would put it, is “just right.”
Gift-giving Tips for Your Special Friend
How much money to spend on the gift is probably the most complicated part of giving when the relationship is still in its infancy. Buy something inexpensive and you might be seen as too stingy or you regard him only as a friend. Getting a present with a high price tag may give off the message that you’re wasteful (not good wife material) or you’re desperate to make the relationship official.
Get something classy that doesn’t cost too much. An IPA beer making kit if he’s into that kind of thing or a set of books by her favorite author should do it. Remember though that everything’s subjective. The newness of the relationship and what price range is too cheap or too expensive are dependent on certain parameters.
The unique factor
To get that unique gift for your special guy or girl, you’ll have to know what their interests or hobbies are. If he’s into sports or cooking or playing video games, get him something appropriate. Grown basil, oregano and parsley in organic pots do not cost much. Tie the pots with ribbons to make them both useful and decorative in the kitchen. And there’s no need for an occasion to give these types of gifts. Buy him the latest video game for you to play together. If your girlfriend is traveling on business and you want to let her know you’re eagerly waiting for her return, surprise her with flowers delivered to her hotel. Giving gifts is a show of thoughtfulness and care that will always be appreciated.
The effort of choosing the right gift
It’s intuitive. Women more than men can tell if there was effort exerted into looking for the perfect gift, regardless of its price. Get her that Beauty and the Beast limited edition teapot and mug she’s losing sleep over and she’ll never forget you, even if you break up later. For him, an R2-D2 coffee press or a Lego set of his favorite character. Taking the extra time and effort to choose a small gift that brings a smile to your partner is relationship-enhancing without being pushy. In contrast, a gift card from your new lover should raise a red flag. If romance and thoughtfulness are already gone this early in your time together, think of the lonely years ahead you’ll be spending with him or her. Then run away.
Give an experience or a personal keepsake
If he’s been wanting to watch a sports event or she’s dying to go to a concert of her favorite band, buy the tickets in advance. Just make sure they won’t be buying tickets, too. Take a favorite photo of your sweetheart or their pet and have it painted and framed. Give to a charity and put the donation in her name.