Life is difficult. It is unfair. But it can be beautiful if you want to see through the hardships.
The thing is, I have found that it is so much easier to dwell on the negatives than the positives. Even more so when you realize that that kind of thinking has been the pattern for so many years. Good habits can be a challenge to form, but bad habits are definitely tough to break.
For some people, their lives may not be as bad as they think it is. Sometimes, it’s because they keep on clinging to habits that make life harder – without even realizing it. If you’ve got a moment, why not take the time to go through these seven things that make life harder. Maybe you’re doing them, and you just don’t realize it!
1. Always second guess yourself.
We have to make decisions every single day. What do we eat for breakfast? What do we wear for work? Should we go out with friends tonight or go home and relax?
Those are simple decisions, but we have to make a choice nonetheless, and we may often not have problems making those choices. For the more serious decisions we have to make, some of us may have the tendency to second guess. While we ultimately make a decision, we go over, under, and through it so many times in our heads that we end up being totally unsure whether or not we made the right decision.
That’s what makes life harder than it should be. Once you have made a decision, stop second guessing yourself. Whether it’s the wrong one or the right one, you’ve made a choice, and you’ll just have to move on and see what happens.
“Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” ~Unknown
2. Think that happiness is found in other people/things.
I’ll be happy if I find Mr. Right/Mrs. Right.
I’ll be happy if my partner were more romantic.
I’ll be happy if I get the new iPhone.
I’ll be happy if I get that promotion.
And that list goes on and on.
Do you want to make life harder? Just keep a running list of “I’ll be happy if…” and keep looking for happiness outside of yourself.
On the other hand, if you want to make things easier on yourself, make a list of the things that make you happy about yourself. Make another list of little things that you currently enjoy – that first cup of coffee in the morning, that belly-busting laugh you had with your colleague because of a joke, your beautiful smile… This list will make you happy.
3. Worry about the worst case scenario.
You know those “What if” questions? Those questions which paint the most horrible things that could possibly happen. Just a few examples:
- What if my boyfriend cheats on me?
- What if I lose my job?
- What if I fail those whom I love?
Sure, all those things could happen, but more often than not, they won’t. Dwelling on those questions and scenarios is a sure-fire way of making life harder for yourself. So go on and think about every worst possible thing that could happen. If you want a difficult life.
Turn things around: Think about all the wonderful “What ifs” instead.
4. Never admit that you are struggling.
Your friend asks you, “Are you okay?”. You reply, “Yes.”
If you’re really okay, then fine. But if this exchange remains the same every single time, even if it’s obvious to the world that you are not okay, then you’re making life harder.
You don’t get brownie points for being as tough as Rambo. You don’t get a cookie for not admitting that you’re struggling, and that you need help, or maybe just someone to listen.
5. Always one-up people in your circle.
Oooh, she has a new hairdo and a gorgeous dress.
Boy, does his new car look great!
In your head: “I’m going to make sure I do him/her one better.”
Okay, make life tougher for yourself by making sure you’re the best, and that you’ve got the best things.
Ponder on this: Will one-upping other people really make you happy? Or will focusing on doing things you actually enjoy be better?
6. Always say “yes”.
Don’t upset people by saying no – even if it’s only once in a while and it’s reasonable. Never say no to a request. Always say yes – to your boss, to your partner, to your friends, and to your family.
That way, you’re always busy doing things for others even if you don’t want to. You’re liked by everyone, but you sure as heck don’t live your own life.
7. Don’t stop beating yourself up for your mistakes.
We all make mistakes – some big, some small – but we don’t all beat ourselves up for it forever. Some take longer to get over the mistake and its consequences, but they do stop beating themselves up. Their lives are easier for it.
You want to make your life harder? Think about every single mistake you’ve made and regretted, and then tell yourself just how stupid you were to make that mistake. And don’t stop. Just keep doing it.
You have the power to make life easier
Yes, you do. There may be circumstances outside of your control, but you have control over what you do and think about in your life. Stop doing those things above. Don’t make life any harder than it already is.