So, you’ve taken the red pill. There is so much to unpack. How do we begin to unplug from the matrix? It could take a lifetime to undo all of our false beliefs. As I began this process a few years ago, so much of what was inside me started to surface. It is hard to handle at times. But I know that if I do not deal with these things head on, life will continue to be a bad romance with the unknown.
Part of what we need to unplug is to be aware of the quality of our minds. Through practices such as meditation, we learn to step back from our thoughts and simply watch them. Are we angry, happy, frustrated, sad, focused or unfocused? Why?
I’ve compiled a series of questions I ask myself to help me identify the lies I have told myself (my matrix). Like anything, mastery requires constant practice. But over time, we can learn to take control.
Am I paying attention? We must be aware as often as possible first that we have thoughts, and second, what our thoughts are. Not necessarily an attempt to change them, rather to understand how they currently work while on auto-pilot.
Is the “voice” I am listening to really me or am I the listener? Learning to identify as the listener as opposed to the voice is a practice. The voice in your head you identify as thoughts is really just a narration. Saying “I can’t help but think about it” is a lie. You have complete control over your thoughts. In fact, you can turn them off all together. Meditation teaches you this level of control.
Denial = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying
What is the story I am currently telling myself? The story is the series of conclusions that appear to provide explanation for a particular event. Usually in the story there is a main character which the story appears to happen around. That would be you. Pay attention to the story, it will tell you a lot about what you need to know about yourself as well as the expectations you’ve set for others.
Do they really have that problem, or do I? So I’ve identified the story. I’ve decided that she is being rude to me because she is clearly jealous. Come to think of it, quite a few people I know are very jealous people. RED FLAG…. Real question is: Do I have a problem with jealousy? We tend to project our stuff onto other people without even realizing it is our stuff to begin with. You’ll never know the truth if you don’t ask the question.
What is the true meaning behind the story? It’s hard, but I try and ask myself a series of ‘why’ questions to understand the story my mind appears to be building right in front of my eyes. The hard part here is to really think deeper rather than circular. Find the true, new answer to the question every time you ask yourself ‘why’ as opposed to saying the same answer in a different way.
What if I choose not to believe the story? Here is an interesting option. Allow the story to exist without believing it to be true. It just is. It is not you, or a part of you. It is an idea; one of many possible ideas. Become curious rather than offended. Ask questions instead of making statements. Accept the story as a story instead of incorporating it into your identity.
What feelings does the story trigger? Emotions that are triggered as part of an event tell you what you should do. What if I follow the energy that exists within my emotions? Where would they lead me if I choose not to fight them, not to fix them? What if I allow sadness into my space as part of the equation that creates joy?
What should I do instead? In his book The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav explains to us “the choice not to choose is the choice to remain unconscious and, therefore, to wield power irresponsibly.” We can continue to depend on default thoughts and reactions throughout our lives; to live according to the story in our heads, without question. Frankly, that is the easier choice. That is the blue pill. We can think, be, and do better for ourselves and those around us.
Today, if I have a problem with something around me, I try and figure out why it is a problem for me. What is the reason this bothers me?
That answer should not sound like: “I did not like what she said. She must not like me which is why she was so dismissive.”
Rather, it could sound like: “I did not like what she said. Why? … Because I feel rejected. Why? … I wanted us to be friends. Why? …. ” and so on. It should not include the other person, not right away. I need to understand the true source of my feelings before I can deal with anyone else.